Love the one you're with...

Body, that is... Unfortunately, I'm not the active person that I once was. Walking to and from high school, across campus and back and forth at my waitressing jobs kept me in shape. As years have gone by I have put on a lot of weight. I'm sure that the new stresses and responsibilities of adult life do not help, but it is not like that will be going away any time soon.

As I go up sizes, I find myself buying less and less, and holding on to the clothing I no longer fit into. Two very different problems, but with the same effect: I have "nothing to wear". I have plenty that does not fit, which is safely stored away in the attic. What I do have to fit me translates into the following: a dozen colored sweaters, a dozen t-shirts (all in black or white), half dozen pairs of pants, and a couple of skirts and special occasion dresses. Which means that things get worn over and over again, until they are faded, stained, falling apart, and I'm ready to self-suffocate in boredom. Why don't I buy more clothing? Simple. I have the self-illusion that someday I'll be able to fit back into the smaller-size clothing, and why should I spend the money? Also, I don't know if I'm done gaining weight, so again, why spend the money?

This fall it finally dawned on me that I probably will never be much smaller than I am right now. Certainly not back to the five-size smaller clothing that I have. With two small kids, I live in the little pockets of time between preparing meals, breastfeeding, changing diapers, doing laundry, and comforting my kids. I admit not taking any of the little personal time that I have to exercise. I would rather check my email, see a movie, or read a magazine. I also find myself so stressed that eating feels like a good stress relief that allows me to comfort myself, while at the same time getting stuff done around the house. The fastest way to get snacks and meals ready, so I can get back to other important things, is by using ready-made snack foods, like chips, pretzels, etc... No matter what anyone says, cooking familiar dishes is much faster than following a new recipe. But even like that, I only find time to cook the evening meal, when my husband is home to hold the baby.

These are my excuses for being the size I am. And that is an excuse to buy more clothing that fits me. Who knows, maybe that will make me feel better about myself, which will make me feel less stressed, which might encourage me to find more time for myself. And that is why the smaller-size clothing stays up in the attic for now...

Dress Hunting

I spent the past month looking for flattering clothing for the occasions that I have coming up, including the holidays. Let me preface this by saying that I had gotten these awesome crazy-cool shoes at my local Salvation Army store for $5. They were my size, beautiful red satin covered in sequins in patchwork-like different colors, and they fit perfectly and still had the tags on them. Did I mention only $5??? I desperately wanted to be able to wear them, so I asked Kim at Fab Finds under $50 to help me find something to wear with them.

The most needed items were something to wear for my son's baptism and for my hubby's high school reunion, but I also wanted separates to be able to wear to the various holiday occasions. So I was searching for a red dress for the reunion, a black pencil skirt and black pants and a couple of sparkly tops that go with the shoes. I did my pre-shopping online, so I had an idea of what the stores carried, and so I could make the most of my shopping time with two kids in tow. Shopping for clothes is so much easier without kids... after several attempts, I had to start doing my shopping piecemeal without kids, finding a couple hours here and there, so that I could make my shopping easier. I had my mother watch my oldest and I took my baby to T.J. Max and Marshall's and found a sparkly top there. I went out one night and found a black pencil skirt and black pants at Macy's. Another time I found a beautiful cowl neck golden sweater at Chico's. But no luck with dresses...

I must have tried 30 dresses over the past two weeks,I found the most beautiful white dress at White House/Black Market. As picky as I am with the way things fit me, when I find something that fits this great, I must snag it and save it for an occasion to wear it. Luckily, it will be perfect for the baptism, specially with the black velvet blazer that I also picked up. Unfortunately, without a coordinating belt (I was thinking a gold or red obi belt), it will not work with the sequin shoes, so I was still looking for a red dress.

Yesterday I got my husband home early enough for me to be able to head to the "big" mall sans kids. After being in and out of several stores, I finally found it in Nordstrom's! A gorgeous Calvin Klein red satin dress that goes perfect with the shoes. With the velvet blazer, and some costume jewelry, I'm all set for the reunion, and with the other pieces, I'm be all set for my other occasions until the end of the year! Yes!

I Need a Makeover...

...and little by little, I'm giving myself one.
In the past month I have evaluated my outward appearance and decided it was time to do something about it. So I finally went to get my eyes checked and my eyeglass prescription updated. I got new frames also, to replace the ones that have been sitting crooked over my nose for the past two years. I got my hair cut. It was hanging down to my waist, no style, just frizzy and starting to get tangled more and more these days. Amazing what a few inches off does for one's spirits!
I found myself wanting to throw out everything that I've been wearing for the past four years... I'm tired of stained sweats, faded jeans and sweaters that fall either into the way-oversized or too-tight category. I recently looked at a picture of my daughter in which I'm in the background, having a relaxed conversation with someone. Sausage-like brown corduroys with a grey cashmere sweater that is too tight. I cringe... I may not want to be the size that I am, but that does not mean that I should dress in the size I want to be... I may not be as thin as I want to be, but it is no excuse to hide under clothing. So, it's out with the unflattering clothing and in with better-fitting pieces in colors that cheer me up. Oh yeah, and I also need to wear real shoes and not slip-on sneakers. And while I'm at it, I'll re-vamp my underwear drawer and update my pajamas, as well! This is going to be fun... :)